Show Yourself Some LOVE This Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. All I see are hearts, roses, and the chocolates everywhere. And as much as I love any excuse to eat chocolate and drink champagne, (is there anything better than the perfect combo of chocolate and bubby) it doesn't take away how difficult this holiday can be for many.
Here's the deal, I love my husband very much and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for bringing him into my life. He makes me laugh, he's super HOT :), and he is more than i could have ever asked for as a best friend and life partner.
But before he came into my life, and after losing my first husband to cancer, there was a time when I was a single mom and was doing life alone and Valentine's Day was the worst to be honest. People would say nice things like, "Oh, how special that you and your kids can do Valentine's Day together this year. "
I'm sorry, WHAT? Who says that to a grieving widow?? (People said so many weird things to me after my husband died, but I''ll share those another day.) And as much as I love spending time with my kids, that was NOT my dream Valentine's Day and it did not make up for feeling completely alone. on this day devoted to couples. So I know first hand how lonely Valentine’s Day can be if you don’t have that someone special in your life. And, it can also make the pity party come on in full force- "Why me?" "Why am I spending this made-up stupid holiday alone?" "Why do we even have this holiday?" "Why did my husband have to die and leave me to do life and "love" holidays alone?" "This is so unfair."
It's that “in your face” holiday that reminds you with every moment, and every love song, and every flower and candy commercial that everyone else has someone to love and you don’t. A silly simple day in the middle of a plain ol' month can reach deep down inside and wreak total havoc on your heart for NO good reason!
So, let me set one thing straight. YOU do no need a date for Valentine's Day to be a special, valuable, important, lovable person! Girlfriend, no matter what you believe, God created YOU ON PURPOSE, FOR A PURPOSE, and WITH A PURPOSE. He LOVES YOU just as you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who NEVER makes mistakes. You are one of a kind and NO ONE can compare to you!
So there! That's the truth and you just have to accept it.
On my IG and Facebook pages, I am focused on a theme each week. Last week, my theme was “new beginnings." So often the new year comes around and everyone is super excited about making resolutions and new goals and creating a vision for the new year and they are determined that THIS IS THEIR YEAR! And then a few weeks in, real life hits, and they throw in the towel bc they have already failed. Here's a little reminder: New beginnings don’t just start at the new year. They start whenever you decide you are ready to make a change.
So, if you want, you can pick that towel up and get right back in the game. You are allowed to start today, right now, and make a new beginning. The calendar doesn't dictate how your life goes!
So in light of that, I want to encourage you to think NEW and differently this Valentine’s holiday. This week on my IG and Facebook pages I am going to be focusing on LOVE. And instead of making it a day just about loving someone else, we are going to focus on also making it a week about SELF LOVE and SELF CARE.
Only when we care for ourselves, can we really live the life we were created for. So many things in life are vying for our attention- our spouse or partner, our kids, our job, our to-do list, our family, our friends, our bills, our responsibilities- so much that are so important, but can completely drain us if we make them more important than our own self care. So together, let’s change how we view this week and how we focus our attention.
Self care-what in the world is self care. Self care is doing things that are LIFE-GIVING to your soul. They bring peace and health and happiness and contentment, and they just fill you up and make you happy. So this week I am going to get my workout done, eat healthy foods and enjoy some treats. Yes, did I mention I LOVE chocolate and champagne! I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure and I'm going to meet a friend for coffee. I'm going to linger longer in my quiet time and listen to my favorite songs on repeat even if my kids are sick of hearing it. I'm going to pour into my job and my clients bc coaching is life-giving to my soul and I love being a part of helping others transform their lives. I'm going to love on my hubby and kids so that they know without a shadow of a doubt my deep love for them. And I'm going to be intentional about how I talk to myself. I love encouraging others and believing in the the best about them, and I need to do the same with myself. How we think about and talk to ourselves plays a HUGE role in our emotional well-being and how we go about our day!
I know this time of year can be so hard! I know you might be reading this thinking, "Kendra, you just don't get it. You don't know what I've been through and how hard everything is." Sister, I do! I've been there. I have been so broken and discouraged and in the midst of a completely shattered life. I have felt so alone, a depth of loneliness I never knew existed! But I promise you, if you can just start, with just finding one thing that is LIFE-GIVING to you soul, then you will begin to see the sun in the midst of the storm. You will start to feel a little bit of hope and healing and you will crave more. Trust me. One little thing step every day is all it takes to start new. So, here's the big question-how are you going to show yourself some love this week?
This is a week dedicate to LOVE- love those in your life fully and completely! But, let's also commit to making self care our #ONE priority.